Awesome Monday

Whenever you crank this Contraption, create a 2/2 black Rogue creature token with menace.

Whenever you crank this Contraption, target player loses 2 life.

Whenever you crank this Contraption, target player gains life equal to the greatest power among creatures you control.

During your turn, if this card is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield. {0}: Return this artifact to its owner's hand. Only your oppone...

Whenever you crank this Contraption, up to two target creatures each get +2/+2 until end of turn.

When this creature enters, create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.

Whenever you crank this Contraption, create two 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature tokens.

Whenever you crank this Contraption, target creature must be blocked this turn if able.

Whenever you crank this Contraption, target creature gets +3/+3 until end of turn.

Whenever you crank this Contraption, target player discards a card.

Whenever you crank this Contraption, creatures target player controls get -1/-1 until end of turn.

Spells you cast that refer to artifacts or Contraptions in their rules text cost {1} less to cast.

First strike, protection from black borders (Nothing with a black border can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

First strike, protection from watermarks (Nothing with a watermark can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

First strike, protection from loose lips (Nothing with an open mouth in its artwork can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

First strike, protection from odd collector numbers (Nothing with an odd collector number can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this crea...

First strike, protection from two-word names (Nothing with exactly two words in its name can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creat...

First strike, protection from even collector numbers (Nothing with an even collector number can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this cr...

Vigilance Knight of the Widget's power and toughness are each equal to the number of Order of the Widget watermarks among permanents you control.

If you would roll a die, instead roll two of those dice and ignore one of those results.

When this creature enters, return target host card or card with augment from your graveyard to your hand.

Whenever you crank this Contraption, put target creature card from your graveyard on top of your library.

Equipped creature has "{T}: This creature deals 1 damage to target player or planeswalker. Roll a six-sided die. On a 5 or higher, untap it." Equip...