Awesome Monday

{2}, {T}: Rod of Spanking deals 1 damage to target player. Then untap Rod of Spanking unless that player says "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"

Togglodyte enters the battlefield turned on. Whenever a player casts a spell, toggle Togglodyte's ON/OFF switch. As long as Togglodyte is turned ...

Cumulative upkeep—Say "Toy Boat" quickly. (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on Toy Boat, then sacrifice it unless you say "Toy B...

{2}, Discard a card: Search your library for a card that shares a complete word in its name with the discarded card, reveal it, put it into your ha...

({T}: Add {W}.)

({T}: Add {U}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {R}.)

You and target opponent play Seven Questions with the top card of that player's library. If you win, prevent all damage that would be dealt this tu...

({T}: Add {G}.)

Flying Spells cast by players wearing at least one item of women's clothing cost {1} less to cast. (You can define women's clothing as you see fit...

As long as you're shorter than an opponent, Man of Measure gets +0/+1 and has first strike. As long as you're taller than an opponent, Man of Meas...

Choose one — • Target player gains 2½ life. • Prevent the next 2½ damage that would be dealt to target creature this turn. Gotcha — If an oppone...

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

As long as you're standing, Standing Army has vigilance.

Enchant creature Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each word in its name.

{1}: This card's name becomes the card name of your choice. Activate anywhere, anytime.

{T}: Draw a card, then discard a card. Whenever a permanent that shares an artist with another permanent you control enters the battlefield, untap ...

{T}: Target permanent's artist becomes the artist of your choice until end of turn.

Bursting Beebles can't be blocked as long as defending player controls two or more nonland permanents that share an artist.

Flying At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice Carnivorous Death-Parrot unless you say its flavor text.

Whenever you cast a spell, you may gain ½ life for each word in that spell's name.

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyfa...