Awesome Monday

Whenever you crank this Contraption, target creature gets +3/+3 until end of turn.

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or 4, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature. On a 5 or higher, put two +1/+1 counters ...

Whenever you crank this Contraption, target player discards a card.

({T}: Add {U}.)

When this creature enters, ask a person outside the game to high-five you. If they won't, this creature gains haste until end of turn.

Whenever you crank this Contraption, creatures target player controls get -1/-1 until end of turn.

When this creature enters, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Just Desserts deals π damage to target creature. (π is the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. (It's a smidgen more than 3.))

Spells you cast that refer to artifacts or Contraptions in their rules text cost {1} less to cast.

First strike, protection from black borders (Nothing with a black border can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

First strike, protection from watermarks (Nothing with a watermark can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

First strike, protection from loose lips (Nothing with an open mouth in its artwork can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

First strike, protection from odd collector numbers (Nothing with an odd collector number can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this crea...

First strike, protection from two-word names (Nothing with exactly two words in its name can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creat...

First strike, protection from even collector numbers (Nothing with an even collector number can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this cr...

Vigilance Knight of the Widget's power and toughness are each equal to the number of Order of the Widget watermarks among permanents you control.

If you would roll a die, instead roll two of those dice and ignore one of those results.

When this creature enters, return target host card or card with augment from your graveyard to your hand.

Whenever you crank this Contraption, put target creature card from your graveyard on top of your library.

Equipped creature has "{T}: This creature deals 1 damage to target player or planeswalker. Roll a six-sided die. On a 5 or higher, untap it." Equip...

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or lower, target player adds {C}. Otherwise, that player adds one mana of any color they choose.

Enchant creature As this Aura enters, choose a word. Whisper the chosen word: Tap enchanted creature.

Whenever you crank this Contraption, target creature gets -1/-1 until end of turn.

When this creature enters, you may draw a card.