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Sacrifice a creature or land: Add {HR}.

Add {R} for each nonland permanent with art by the artist of your choice.

Say "Goblin S.W.A.T. Team": Put a +1/+1 counter on Goblin S.W.A.T. Team unless an opponent swats the table within five seconds. Activate only once ...

As Drawn Together enters the battlefield, choose an artist. Creatures with art by the chosen artist get +2/+2.

First strike At the beginning of your upkeep, reveal a card from your hand at random.

When you speak, sacrifice Goblin Mime.

Skip your untap step. At the beginning of your upkeep, you may pay X life. If you do, untap X permanents. Pay ½ life: Exile the top card of your li...

Protection from wordy (Something is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)

As Circle of Protection: Art enters the battlefield, choose an artist. {1}{W}: The next time a source of your choice with art by the chosen artist...

You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, Face to Face deals 5 damage to that player.

At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, target opponent chooses whether Dumb Ass attacks this turn.

Deal Damage deals 4 damage to any target. Gotcha — If an opponent says "deal" or "damage," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Deal Damage f...

Enchant creature Curse of the Fire Penguin consumes and confuses enchanted creature.

Madness {R}, cycling {1}{R}, kicker {2}{R}, flashback {3}{R}, buyback {4}{R} Blast from the Past deals 2 damage to any target. If this spell was ki...

Each other Donkey gets +1½/+1½. Whenever another Donkey enters the battlefield, untap target creature and gain control of it until end of turn. Tha...

At the beginning of your upkeep, destroy all nonland permanents with the first name alphabetically among nonland permanents.

Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, sacrifice Mother of Goons unless you insult that creature.

{W}, Give an opponent a nonland card you own from outside the game: Prevent the next 1 damage that would be dealt to you or Collector Protector thi...

As Zombie Fanboy enters the battlefield, choose an artist. Whenever a permanent with art by the chosen artist is put into a graveyard, put two +1/+...

As Working Stiff enters the battlefield, straighten your arms. When you bend an elbow, sacrifice Working Stiff.

Destroy target nonblack creature. Gotcha — If an opponent says "kill" or "destroy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Kill! Destroy! from ...

Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of times the letter of your choice appears in that creature's name.

Wet Willie of the Damned deals 2½ damage to any target and you gain 2½ life.

Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches Vile Bile, that player loses 2 life.