MTG

{T}: Choose a word. Target player puts the top card of their library into their graveyard. If that card has the chosen word in its text box, that p...

Enchant creature Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each word in its name.

Fat Ass gets +2/+2 and has trample as long as you're eating. (Gum isn't food. We checked.)

Whenever another creature enters the battlefield, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. ...

When you speak, sacrifice Goblin Mime.

Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of times the letter of your choice appears in that creature's name.

Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches Vile Bile, that player loses 2 life.

Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, sacrifice Mother of Goons unless you insult that creature.

The Fallen Apart enters the battlefield with two arms and two legs. Whenever damage is dealt to The Fallen Apart, remove an arm or a leg from it. T...

Whenever Smart Ass attacks, choose a card name. If defending player has no cards with the chosen name in their hand, they may reveal their hand. If...

Flying Gotcha — If an opponent touches the table with their hand, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Cardpecker from your graveyard to your ...

Enchant creature As Loose Lips enters the battlefield, choose a sentence with eight or fewer words. Enchanted creature has flying. Whenever enchant...

Choose an artist. Tap all untapped permanents with art by that artist or untap all tapped permanents with art by that artist.

Flying When Double Header enters the battlefield, you may return target permanent with a two-word name to its owner's hand.

This spell costs {1} more to cast for each ten years you've been alive. Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is e...

Flying Spells cast by players wearing at least one item of women's clothing cost {1} less to cast. (You can define women's clothing as you see fit....

Target creature gets +3½/+3½ until end of turn.

{W}{W}: Fascist Art Director gains protection from the artist of your choice until end of turn.

Shoe Tree enters the battlefield with up to two shoe counters on it. Use your shoes as counters. Shoe Tree gets +1/+1 for each shoe counter on it.

As Monkey Monkey Monkey enters the battlefield, choose a letter. Monkey Monkey Monkey gets +1/+1 for each nonland permanent whose name begins with ...

Gotcha — If an opponent laughs, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Laughing Hyena from your graveyard to your hand.

All creatures with art by the artist of your choice get +2/+2 and gain trample until end of turn.